All posts in One

I am having trouble with the internet...here are about 7 posts rolled in to one...sorry
Harder to read
I will have to fix it later...

For now I wanted to psot
heading to Safari today...Very excited for that and to meet the new person here...Ray...

I am a stranger who has found a home
Tonight was...as we say in the land where my people come from...wicked awesome!
It has been a long time since I have had a true Shabbat. Often in New York, I am working and then going out to dinner with friends or heading home to get through school work, or prep for the following day's teaching, sermon, or study.

Tonight was a true gift.

First of all, I took a HOT shower. My first in 2 weeks. Having been sitting next to the open window on the high way for 4 hours and then taking the boda boda out to the guest house along some dirt roads...well, I felt grungy...but I did not realize how gunky I really was....

As I showered and washed my hair (the first time since Dubai...because no hot water means Rachael is not sticking her head under anything!!! So no hair washing!! Don't judge me.) the water ran with mud...I mean, the water was black! And dirt just poured and poured off of my body! Arms too (since they were exposed on the various rides...not to mention my face...) When I was done, I used the towel to further remove the fine layer of Uganda that was wearing. I took a picture of the towel It's pretty disgusting...

Ok, that was not the amazing part of the evening, but it certain was noteworthy...

I went to services and met up with Joanne there. Slowly the community came in as we did Kabbalat Shabbat. The words I knew, the tunes were different. Lovely and rhythmic and tropical. I felt like I was in Aruba...We all got up and danced (we rhythmically walked around the bima) for L'cha Dodi. Then all the women were called up to light candles. After that, I was up. I had offered Rabbi Gershom that I would do whatever I could to be helpful as a Rabbinic student. He asked if I would drash and I did.

When he introduced me, he talked about having the opportunity to learn from a sage. And I was tunned by the language. I do not see myself as a sage...and I was incredibly humbled by hearing that. I wished, in that moment, I had prepared more, had more to give, more to offer. I want to live up to “sage.” I knew my sermon was short and sweet-but not scholarly. There was a moment where I wished I had gone a different route with my preaching and tried to be my most erudite and impressive self...

In the end, I think I gave the right sermon...

I told the following story...
yesterday I was teaching at a school in a rural and remote village outside of Kampala. One of the students asked what makes me happy. I replied, when I go away and then come home to my family, and they throw their arms open wide, hug me and say, welcome home.

I then pulled a line from this week's Torah portion (Behaalotecha) which read (Numbers 9:14) when bringing the Passover offering the rules for the Israelite and the Ger, the stranger are the same. H. Gunther Plaut explains that a ger is someone without home or clan who is seeking sponsorship.

I am a stranger here. I am without a home or a clan and I am looking for a sponsor.

I then talked about the last few weeks away from home. I said it little, but truly, I have felt notably out of sorts pretty often. I have been feeling like a foreigner and as much as I love learning a new place, there is a challenge when few moments provide a sense of “home.” Although, I do love the host family I am with and feel incredibly at ease when I am there. That has made all the difference to me...

(so has internet access...I am finding a true power in plugging in and connecting to other people I know and love in the world. It is very grounding...)

I then retold my experience of contacting this community and how everyone said, please come and spend Shabbat. So I had a sponsor but did I have a home.

Tonight, we lit candles, sang songs, prayers, blessings that all Jews do. This was all very familiar and that was wonderful But what really mattered is, when I arrived, Gershom, Seth, Rachel and Isaac all greeted me with their arms open wide, a big hug me and said, welcome home.

I thanked them all and wished them a Shabbat Shalom.


I returned to my seat, the service continued. I have not prayed in shul in a long time without being dismissive of the experience. I realized that one aspect of Judaism I find so powerful is here, in this community, I can be my most quirky, messy, outrageous, kind, caring, offensive self and I still have a place here. I still am a member of this tribe, these people, these rites and rituals...Within Judaism, I have a true home.

And there it was, the longing to have a congregation...it pops up every now and then...

After services, Joanne and I were invited to Rabbi Gershom's home for dinner. We walked next door to his home and everyone gathered in the living room for blessings. Then kiddush over the challah (I forgot to ask why there is no wine) The challah was enormous and gorgeous and still warm. I great big round loaf of incredibly dense bread...it was a delight to see.

Then dinner with Gershom, his sister Shoshana, who is here for 2 months from Phillie, and a hosue FULL of children, and other adults. We had goat for dinner. I've never had goat before!! And of course-matoke and rice. Conversation was lively and spirited. It was relaxed and easy. I was thinking of my other family in Uganda and their dinners. The conversation is also lively and spirited but since it is in Lugandan, I am an observer, not a participant. I was delighted to be able to participate and released from the quiet of being an observer. Talking was freeing for me!

After dinner, singing shabbat songs and birkat hamazon. Mom, you would have been just in heaven!!! Yigal, Gerhsom's son, pulled out a tamborine. I usually do not like singing at Shabbat table, but this was just so fun!!

At 10, we left, Yigal and Daphna (Gershom's older daughter) walked us down the hill to our guest house.

And here I am...

It has been a while since I invited Shabbat to be a presence in my life. Hello old friend, it is just so good to see you again. Again, I feel hugged and held and welcomed home.



Saturday
As much as the Jewish people have kept Shabbat, Shabbat has kept the Jewish people

I have a true love for living within such a small community. The intimacy and proximity allows access to so much beauty and interaction. Not to mention, opportunity to be together.

This morning, I had breakfast in the guest house with a young man from Ghana who is studying with Gershom so that he can become more knowledgeable in Judaism, and then return home to educate and lead his community. His community was forcibly converted to Christianity in the 70s (It hink) and now they have decided to return to Judaism. Gershom is the nearest Rabbi and is running a yeshiva. He has 8-9 students-adult males, learning and studying-mostly halacha from what I can tell.

After breakfast, I went to synagogue which is 100 meters away. The service again was familiar and different with the addition of the Lugandan. I felt comforted to be praying such familiar words, in such a familiar surrounding. This morning was the Bar Mitzvah of Jeremiah, an 18 year old from another village, who has been studying here. (I am not sure if he is studying in the high school here or was only doing Jewish learning...oh yes, there is a Jewish high school here in the village and Jewish primary school down the hill. There seems to be a secular primary school here too (it is definitely a primary school...I am unsure if it is Jewish or not..)) Jeremiah's community was a group of 7th Day Adventists (I think I have this right) who decided they no longer believe in Jesus and want to be Abayudayan.

The word Abayudayan (Aba-YEHUDA) means coming under Judah. It is an ethnic slur (of all things). Gershom was saying that when he tells people he is this, they laugh at first and do not take him seriously. What an interesting name to choose for one's self...

For the bar mitzvah, Jeremiah lead a brief discussion of the parasha where he pointed out that Behaalotecha (this week's portion) mentions that the menorah needs to be placed in front of the ark. He then asked us what light means to us as a Jewish people. He then took answers from the community.

Jeremiah's father and 2 of his brothers were there as well. They do not speak Lugandan, but apparently they do understand, but do not speak, English. Everything from the bima was translated into Lugandan by Rachman (who is in Gershom's yeshiva-he is perhaps from Kenya...) When Abraham, Jeremiah's father, spoke (both while answering Jeremiah's question and later when giving a blessing for his son) Jeremiah's brother would translated from their native language (an African dialect different from Lugandan) into English and then Rachman would repeat it in Lugandan.

It was awesome!!

It all worked, everyone seemed to know what was happening.

Jeremiah's read Torah and lead some of the prayers. He reminded me much of a thirteen year old in his nervousness and his newly learned Hebrew. His brother and father both gave him blessings. They too are Jewish already. They both talked about the power of Jeremiah choosing the RIGHT path and the right way by coming to Judaism. Then we threw candy, kids ran, one cried (what would services be without on crying child when the candy is thrown?)...and then I stepped out for a nap.

Truly, I am exhausted!!

I ended up speaking with Lorne at length. He is a volunteer with Kulanu (kulanu.org) from Vancouver living here for 6 months. We sat and chatted about life, world travel, kulanu's work, my work, his work, his life here and his involvement in the community...He is organizing a spelling club at the school and they are challenging other schools to spelling bees. The first they did was watch Akela and the Bee. He also teaches English (his career was as a journalist), and is prepping some students for their upcoming exams. He is into chant and is bringing some of that here. He also is involved with Aleph and just has a good spirit about him. He is a pleasure to chat with and very informative about life here in Uganda.

Then, I had a brief nap and refreshed. I rejoined the community at the end of services for community lunch. First, there was a brief reflection on the parasha, then Jeremiah led hand washing and motzi. After that, the women brought out lunch for everyone. Rice and gnut sauce (peanuts which are ground up and then boiled-skins still on so it has this pretty pink hew to it) for most everyone. Gershom, Lorne, some of Gershom's family, and I were given matoke, gnut sauce, a small piece of goat, and some of the goat juices. (Truthfully, I like rice better...I am a little matoke-ed out...I find it is like eating clay...the consistency is so thick...my body...quite frankly...is just too full of matoke!! There is no more room!!! I miss salad and vagetables and fiber....sigh...)

I thought it was interesting how everyone greets everyone else with hand shakes and shabbat shalom at the beginning and ending of everything. Also, noteworthy, the children seemed to be served first at lunch. Additionally, there is a hierarchy with the chairs...I do not understand it...I was given a plastic chair and did not argue (not wanting to offend by sitting in a metal chair when I am not supposed to...)

After lunch, birkat hamazon of course!! And then Torah study. People asked questions and Gershom answered. He deftly guided two conversations. The first was about the nature of angels and devils within Judaism. What do they look like? How do you know when you are dealing with one or the other? And bringing everyone to the idea that angels and devils are part of our own nature-the possibility to be either resides within each of us. Then, he brought us to the idea of gossip which is touched on in this weeks parasha when Miriam is given leprosy for gossiping against Moses (this is how the rabbis of old understand her receipt of leprosy) Again, he subtly and very effectively lead everyone through a discussion about how hard it is not to talk about others. What he highlighted as the take away was if you have something to say about someone-good or bad-you should say it TO them and not to someone else. It was very well done.

After lunch, I went for a brief walk of the school with Daphna and one of her friends. One our walk, they took me to the girl's boarding dorm. Two rooms with mattresses on the floor and one set of bunk beds. Girls hanging out.

African Children are incredibly well behaved. I doubt there is a house mom. They space was relatively neat and clean.

In America, kids would a) never sleep on a floor b) never board without supervision c) never b left to their own devices on a Saturday afternoon.

We walked on and ran into some other children. A rain was coming in so we moved in. It was good to see the facilities. They are so dilapidated by my standard. Depressingly so. But here, this seems to be a great school! Vibrant, active, has a field, clubs, kids, teachers, happy children...

I still do not get the scale of measurement for anything I am seeing. What I see as poverty seems to sometimes be luxury (a structure with a roof if really something when many are without even that. The bulk of the population that I have seen on villages and towns throughout Uganda seem to live at a variety of levels making up a lower, middle and upper class (within the strata of general Lugandan society...which seems to be on a separate scale from the Muzungus...meaning the foreigners and the “cultured”-those Ugandans who have achieved wealth and status...mostly in Kampala...) When I see the general populace, they all strike me as poor, subsistence existence...but their perception of their standing is so different...

I am reminded of an article I read in some literature by AJWS-the US lives at an economic level thirty times that of the economic level of poor countries. I can see it here. I cannot quite wrap my brain around it...

Comfort is the biggest missing ingredient. The taxi has no cushioning on the seat. Industry is different too. There is no mass production here (I saw a sugar plant and a drug company). I saw where bricks are made...one at a time, by hand, in a swampy area along the side of the road from Kampala to Mbale. I saw metal workers sitting on the road side beating metal in to forms for function. There are one or two beer manufacturers as well. There may be more, but the point is this...it is very minimal!! Most are living off of selling what they produce in their gardens, wood shops, and craft stores. There is a lot of internet and food. There must be building happening because of the paint advertising. Whole storefronts are painted with the ads. Not only paint, but also internet time, baby milk powder, cooking oil and the occasional Juicy Fruit Gum. Imagine the scene...there is one road through your town. 10 shops interspersed with people sitting in the dirt with little huts they have fashioned from old board where they sell their goods (usually a whole row or block of people selling all of the same thing as opposed to intermixing). The shops are either painted with an ad or completed rotted out. The ads however, consume the whole building and, as good ads are, each is bright and colorful. For example, Zain, an cell phone company with true zeal for store front adverts, is hot pink. Four or five shops in a row all painted hot pink with the logo for ZAIN! Badolin paint is bright royal blue, MTN cell phone is canary yellow. One of the cooking oils is a vibrant, GREEN, and another cell phone retailer has the market on red.

A drive through a town looks like this...
hot pink, hot pink, shack with corn shack with corn, canary yellow, grey rotting, RED, GREEN, hot pink, hot pink, hot pink...all in a haze of reddish or grayish dust as the traffic (there is a ton of traffic) whips by on sort of paved roads with no separation between roadside and dirt shoulder. Passing on the right is a constant as is the game of chicken it brings as cars in opposite directions all vie for road space.

This place is not for the faint of heart.

I am so saddened by the repeat of this image of towns over and over and over again. Breaks in between of the lush rain forest/jungle surroundings...and then, another roadside freak-show of depression and paint. I love and hate the scenic breaks in between town because it means I get a rest from seeing that...but it is always a short time before that lurid, nightmarish vision appears again. It's like a bad dream which I will awaken from on Friday morning at 5 am when I land in Rome.

I am grateful for the times out. I relish the sanctuary of being in my host home or here in Mbale. I am away from that for now. I know it is out there and I know I am upset by it (people should not live like this!!!) and I know it is so beyond what I can fix or endure.

The goodness of respites are heightened by the pain of the travel.

Tomorrow I leave here, returning to the read Kampala. Monday, I head to safari and I am looking forward to again, hiding in the folds of the constructed life full of comforts like a door or a window which closes. A car...access to food, running water...If you never knew anything else...I suppose this would not be a bother. But I do know something else. And I long for it for them and for me.

But then again, at this point in time, what good is knowing? Would it not just be an abuse for this world to know that there is another world out there? One they can wish for but they will likely never reach? It would take a mass of education in what the possibilities are to generate the motivation it would take to inspire a nation to fight for, demand, and win a better life.

The complexities of that...

Lo alecha hamelacha ligmor-Pirke Avot, the Ethics of our Sages in the Talmud says it is not upon us to finish the work, nor are we free to walk away from it. The day is late, the workers are goofing off and the master is waiting for us to get serious, get down to business, and get it done...



Havdallah with the whole community was very sweet. Smaller than I had expected...everything else had gathered 100-150 people. This was about 20 of the die hards (I guess) ...or perhaps people went home and it is too far to come back (I do not know where anyone lives-there are not so many homes in the immediate hillside). At Havdallah, I made two new friends. Devorah and Yehudit. 8 and 6 years old. Yehudit is a cuddler. This morning at services she began standing up next to me and nuzzling in. It was lovely this morning. This evening, we got to play a little bit of chase together with Yehudit. It was so dark, it was hard to see their faces so I might be embarrassed tomorrow when I see them and do not recognize them. They stole my heart a little bit.

I had dinner in the guesthouse with Lorne, the kulanu volunteer who is staying here for 6 months. Goat again (there was goat for lunch too). Apparently the community gathered enough funds to slaughter a goat so it is the readily available meat right now. We ate late-almost 10:00 and I settled my bill.

Tomorrow morning, Yigal, the rabbi's son, will be taking me on a hike of the beautiful mountain across the way. Rachman (the translator and yeshiva sturdent) will be joining. A few others may also come along too. The mountain is beautiful!! After, I will head to Mbale where I think I may explore a little and then head back to Kampala. Who knows what the next adventures will be! Tomorrow's challenge, hiking with all of my things send I will be heading home from there. I do not have so much stuff...

I am excited to see waterfalls and this mountain. I remember Noam mentioning how stunning it is. It was fall of 2004 and I still remember thinking, wow, I wish I could do that some day...and now...here I am....

There is a new guy here in Kampala with TATS-Ray. He may meet me in town tomorrow for dinner. Joanne might be around too and Charles is ever available to spend some time. He offered to take me out for dried fish. In Uganda, that might be like a night at the Ritz. I have no idea...but it is sweet none the less. I plan on internet hanging out tomorrow and getting my banana bread recipe off of the net for Joy. She and I will bake on Wednesday evening which will be a real treat!! I like Joy so very much! She has a wonderful smile and warmth which I understand with or without a common language.

I need to talk to Larry about doing some strategic planning and fund raising training with his staff. He had asked if I would and I truly would enjoy that opportunity. I would prefer to do that on Wednesday to anything else. I do not like teaching art to elementary school kids. If only they would let me teach yoga! (not that I know how to do that either...) Maybe I would be better off with Math...