And then, suddenly, I was a Rabbi...

Justice Justice-What I learned this week about becoming a Rabbi
Many people who know me seem to think I would be happy, even good at, being a pulpit Rabbi. Until this weekend, though, I did not think the traditional pulpit was a direction in which I would likely be heading. I am not entirely sure what the switch was, and if there was a switch, it was the dimmer/sliding kind of switch not the flick switch. With time, I have gotten more and more comfortable with the basic doing of rabbiing (the tachlis, details of DOING the rabbi's work) to the point that I now feel I have the energy and attention to turn to the BEING of a Rabbi-you know, the stuff that makes me more than a glorified page announcer/service emcee.

Last night, I was officially welcomed to the Brooklyn Heights Synagogue as their Rabbinic Intern for the year 2008-2009/5769. I delivered a sermon on this week's portion- Shoftim (Deut 16:17-21:9). The process itself of writing the drash was wonderful. I began being very isogetical and wanting to write myself into the text. I wanted to use the text to talk about joining the BHS community. But then, as I said in the sermon which I am pasting into this blog, what a waste that would be when there is tzedek tzedek tirdof (Justice, justice thou shalt pursue-to use my best King James-esque rendering of this Hebrew phrase) to discuss!

So I scrapped the sermon I had all but completed, shifted gears and began again. The next blog entry contains the sermon notes I wrote up (with some changes which I penciled in on my paper-copy of the drash).

Here is what I learned from the writing:
Somewhere along the way, it occurred to me that I am, in some part, responsible to help shape, create and further the spiritual, religious and Jewish development of the congregants I serve. I am there as more than just a resource, but also as a catalyst for growth. Sometimes, that is a healing growth like a band-aid, slave or balm. And sometimes it is an irritating growth like sand in an oyster's mouth becoming a pearl. Regardless, my task is larger than just talking about me, but is about fostering the congregants to talk about, explore, reveal and strengthen themselves. This, to me, means perpetually taking a risk in the things that I say and do and being challenging without being pushy or offensive. It mean asking the questions no one else wants to or dares to ask. It means being a little brazen and brave but not for the sake of being rude or mean, but to help people grow. It means being honest to build trust and it means knowing and speaking my mind in ways that are direct yet kind.

I guess I may be slow that it has taken me three plus years of Rabbinical school to come to understand this, but I feel blessed that I am beginning to see and unravel this task now.

What I learned about the rabbinate from delivering my sermon:
It was not so much the during as the AFTER the sermon which mattered. In the past, as people approached me after a sermon to tell me what they thought about the sermon, I never realized that they were not complimenting or critiquing me (although that is what their words may have said) but rather, they were sharing a piece of themselves with me, their potential rabbi. One person told me they liked that I had laid out the task of pursuing justice in small, manageable steps. So I then asked, what steps are you taking next? And when I heard the next step to be taken, I said great, tell me how it goes, I am curious to know how that experience feels for you.

In that moment and others like it, I felt like the rabbi version of my self, not just Rachael, but Rabbi Bregman and I loved it. I felt like delivering the sermon gave me an entry place into the lives of these people and I felt honored, privileged and humbled to step in to that role-as if this is what I have been working and building towards for a long, long time and finally all my skills and experiences are coalescing in this place, allowing me to slide with ease into this next part of my development as a person and as a member of the Jewish clergy.